Would You Buy Nic Cage’s New 3D Printer?

Actor Nicolas Cage has announced the development of a new desktop 3D printer, soon to be released to the public.

You didn’t know that Nic Cage was deep into 3D printing? This was established years ago when it was discovered that the well-known Hollywood actor took up residence in Glastonbury UK and equipped his small cottage with a set of 3D printers. 

So it is not entirely surprising that the actor has launched a new 3D printer, perhaps based on the experience he encountered when using his previous fleet of machines. Many 3D printer inventors began their machine development simply out of frustration with existing offerings, and that could be the case with Cage as well. 

But is an actor qualified to design and produce a complex machine like a 3D printer? It’s not unprecedented: in the 1940’s Hollywood actress Hedy Lamarr, among other inventions, designed a frequency-hopping signal system for allied torpedoes that eventually became the foundation for today’s BlueTooth and WiFi networks. 

But what exactly is the new machine? We don’t know much yet, having only questionable sources at this point. However, we do know that the machine will be called the “GlastoPrint”, apparently a nod to the location of Cage’s secret 3D printing lab. 

We also know the machine will be a filament-based system, but this places the GlastoPrint in the midst of very heavy competition from countless other manufacturers. However, Cage has a couple of powerful advantages.

First, he’s apparently sealed a deal for worldwide sales with Wal-Mart, which currently has almost 12,000 locations across the globe. Cage’s notoriety will no doubt help, as the machines will carry his personal brand. It’s thought that the actor’s face will be emblazoned on the case, as envisioned in this fanciful concept rendering we prepared based on our source information:

Secondly, the actor’s Hollywood connections have allowed him to insert GlastoPrint product placement advertisements within several upcoming film blockbusters, including Maritime adventure “Submergence”, his own “Humanity Bureau”, Amy Schumer’s “I Feel Pretty” and the historical drama “Chappaquiddick” – although I cannot understand how you’d place a 21st century 3D printer in a movie set in 1969. But Cage’s persistence has paid off. 

Pricing of the GlastoPrint is said to be in the USD$2-3,000 range.